My friend's wife is a "stay at home wife" and her goal her entire life was to marry rich. It is a JOB.
She works out 6 days a week, has a very strict beauty/maintenance routine (hair appointments every 6 weeks, manicures/pedicures every 2 weeks, wax appointments every 3 weeks, etc etc etc), keeps up on fashion, makes sure her closet is on trend, and that she has an outfit for every occasion. She makes sure his closet is the same and makes his personal appointments for him. She never leaves the house without her makeup/hair done and is always dressed up. Even her workout outfits are coordinated down to the sneakers and gym bag. She makes sure she is available for all of his work and social events and that she is home when he is home. Her etiquette is perfect. She maintains the house and helps him manage their other properties. She plans all of their trips. Much more I'm forgetting and I'm sure stuff I don't know about.
It honestly sounds exhausting. Growing up I always joked about living that life but I don't think I'm cut out for it.
What's somewhat intoxicating is that those activities also can be rewarding in terms of effort invested and skill gained. You can fall into a comfortable routine of becoming respected for being able to organize high quality catering at short notice or praised for maintaining a complex filing system or lauded for connecting important people at social gatherings. The issue is that such auxiliary skills are auxiliary skills; you don't have an executive say in which projects your service activities are supporting.
Your subservience can be measured by observing the difference in outcome when your partner falls ill versus when you fall ill; an ill master will receive comfort from the servant because the master can punish the servant when the illness passes; an ill servant can be neglected by the master because the servant cannot ever punish the master without risk of being punished in turn.